Email 25 April 2011

Hello all.
This was one of the weirder weeks of the mission. I do not understand their "Semana Santa" traditions...
Basically all of Guatemala shut down Thursday, Friday, and Saturday... There were no buses going places, so we had to hitchhike to get to Huehue and then back to Colo Thursday and Saturday because we had a conference Friday. It was weird. It worked out well because we ended up hitch hiking with members both times. Free rides!
Thursday, we went to some appointments. We brought the Ical Elders with us because we stayed at their house. We bathed in the baptismal font at the Church where they live. It was almost like swimming. It was fun :) We went to one family's house in the mountains that invited us to their family party haha. They fed us some fruit that had a bunch of sugar with it. They cooked it in a huge pot. Supposedly it is Catholic tradition. Then they fed us some soup stuff... Let's just say we were pretty full. However, we had a lunch appointment right after! Yay... haha. There they fed us a huge plate of chow mein. I was the only one to finish :) I was proud haha. Besides our appointments though, not much was going on...
Friday, we spent the morning part in Xela in a Conference. That was the time the Jews found Jesus and whipped him and crucified him. I was a little sad that I didn’t get to see that part but its okay I guess. We came back from Xela in the afternoon. It was pouring rain when we got there, so there was not a chance that we were going to get a truck in such weather. We decided to stay the night haha. We went up to "downtown" Huehue (my old zone) and watched some of the events. We got there just in time to see this huge float like coffin being carried out of the Catholic Church by some 20 or more people. The thing looked heavy. They had a band of people dressed in all black clothes following it playing rather scary music. It was a sketchy feeling. They had these colorful designs all over the roads that they would walk across with the huge float and sway back and forth occasionally. They even had a fake Jesus lying dead in a glass case up top. I don’t understand Semana Santa.
When we went back to Colo Saturday, there were so many drunks... Fights going outside our house. Bottles being thrown everywhere. We sat inside pretty much the whole day because it was pretty scary out there. What I found the weirdest was they didn’t even do anything on Easter! Speaking of which, Happy late Easter! They celebrate every day before Easter, but not Easter. Made me upset... I played a game with a little boy where we would throw rocks at glass bottles trying to break them. It was decent haha.
Anyways, at the conference I got one letter. It was from Grandma and Granddaddy. It was nice to get something... In the next package, send more REESES! They were sooo good. That was my week though for the most part... Nothing too big happened. Changes are this week. I’m pretty sure I already know what is going to happen as I told you last week, but we shall see I guess... Wish me luck haha.
Well, have a good week! I miss you all and love you! Hang in there :) Oh, this how the church is written in Mam. No idea how to pronounce it haha.... "AJ C'LOJ TEX JESUCRISTO CYE KE XJAL TZ'AKLXIX CYUJ KE MANCBIL K'IJ". And that is why it is so hard....
Con cariño,
Elder Bitner

Email 19 April 2011

Hey there all :)
Well, as you know already... I didn’t email yesterday. Our P-Day was switched to today for a "special" day yesterday. We spent the day yesterday reading the Book of Mormon. The purpose was to finish it in just one day... Shaw and I, as well as our buds in Ical, traveled down to Huehue Sunday night. That was the best trip down ever. It was like 8:30 at night so there were like no cars, and we were standing in the back of a truck. It was just awesome... haha. I actually spoke to a little Latin boy for a while on the ride. It was just fun :) Once we got to the Zonies it was kind of ridiculous. There was about 12 or so Elders staying there. Crazy... The group of kids Shaw and I spent our time with didn’t sleep at all. Shaw actually fell asleep for a few hours. I literally got 5 minutes of sleep haha. It was weird... We talked a lot that night. We had to be at the church to start reading 4 am, so we didn’t find a point in trying to sleep. But yeah, we went to the church and began to read. Some other Elders and I were sitting in the kitchen part, while everyone else was in the Chapel. We all fell asleep rather quick. It was so hard. We listened to it on a kid's iPod more than anything. We did get breakfast, lunch, and dinner though so that was nice haha. I definitely didn’t take it too seriously, which I regret, but we all know I’m not the most diligent reader in the world. It was hard for everyone. Every Elder fell asleep at least once haha. That is the reason I didn’t email yesterday though!
As for the past week... We spent one day with President here in Huehue. That was probably the main thing. We rode down the night before with some random people. We hitch hiked haha. They didn’t charge us anything and they gave us free drinks from the guys company and said he could supply music and such for a big service project if we needed it. He was really nice... For the day with Pres, we met at the church at 7 am. He showed up around 8... He gave us about an hour and a half conference about how we need to change here on the mission. How we need to convert ourselves more than anything. It was pretty good. After that, he starts interviews. He spent the day interviewing some 70+ missionaries. It was insane. Cool thing was though; we played basketball the whole day haha. I still have some talents in that which is quite nice. I just wish I had basketball shoes... I might ask you to send mine if I can’t find any good ones in a Paca today. Pray that I do though ;) At the thing, they gave us McDonalds for lunch and then Pollo Campero for dinner. It was a good day :) Just got to enjoy the other missionaries and get some actual physical activity. We were all quite happy... I got my interview around 9:30 at night haha. It was a really late night as well. We didn’t leave the church until 12:05, and we just went in our basketball clothes so it was cool haha. I enjoyed walking the sketchy streets of the center of Huehue late at night with normal clothes. I miss those days ;) My interview lasted a good 2 minutes haha. Found out I’ll most likely be getting a new comp. A comp that will finish his mission this next change, so I should have the opportunity to "kill" him. Could be fun I guess :) The kid asked to be with me, so we'll see what happens. Shaw is probably going to go to Ixtahuacàn to work though, so he won’t be far at all. A 15 minute truck ride. The interview was good though for being so short. I really like President Lorenzana. It is going to be weird to get a new Pres soon...
Anyways, I got a bracelet from an investigator this week. It is corte :) She said she was going to make us corte bags too, so that would be pretty cool! We will see if she goes through with it though haha.
Something funny I realized about Colo... In church in the states, kids always have snacks of like cheerios or apple jacks. Stuff like that ya know. In Colo.... The kids have corn on the cob and tortillas haha. When I saw this kid eating it on Sunday, I busted up inside. I found it quite funny haha.
Well, that was my week I guess. Things are going good :) I love being here... I also love you all! This coming week should be weird for me because "Semana Santa" is a pretty big deal here haha. Probably won’t get much missionary work done... Everyone is out celebrating. Excited for Easter though! Not going to be doing anything special, but whatever haha. Miss you all!
With much love,
David aka Elder Bitner :)

Email 11 April 2011

Pues mi familia y mis amigos,
Everyone doing well? Glad to hear it! Well, not too much has changed with me. Well a lot has actually, but it is complicated to explain. Anyways, about the week :)
So as I told you last week, there are two new Elders in our area. Shaw and I are still together... We are in charge of just Colotenango and Ixtahuacán. The others are in charge of Ical and San Pedro Necta. It is a lot more fun than I thought it would be to be honest haha. The two Elders up there are Elder Bergeson (from my group...spent most of my time with him in the CCM), from Houston, and Elder Larson (just like Connor!), from St. George. It is awesome. It sucks not having Ical anymore, but we are adapting quickly. All of our investigators were in that area, so now we have like nothing, but oh well. Time to find more new people I guess... Moving the new Elders there was the biggest pain in the butt ever. We did it at like 6 pm. The truck we were using overheated, so we had to deal with that. They moved into the church in Ical, so it isn’t the easiest place in the world to get to. It was horrible... I wrote more about that in my letter home though.
I finally had a conference. The first one in two months... We spent 8+ hours in a church in Xela. We had 8 different classes that taught us about different purposes of a missionary and such. The lessons were great and all, but the day just seemed soooo long. I got 3 hours of sleep the night before because there were 8 of us staying in the Zonies. It was just chaos haha. I did get pouch though and that was well worth it for sure... I got 4 packages and quite a few letters. I got the package from you guys Mom and Dad. I got one from my CCM teacher, Hermano Cuque. Dr Pepper baby! haha. Another was from Macs parents and the other from a friend. It was awesome.... As for letters, I got 2 from friends. DearElders from you, Mom and Dad. And I got Rachel’s birthday card, speaking of which was slightly inappropriate ;) haha. Getting mail for the first time in two months was great. I loved it so much! Thank you all for sending me stuff! I don’t deserve it at all, but I sincerely appreciate it.
On Friday, as Shaw and I were walking through Colo.... We heard 4 distinct gun shots from right by our house. We tried to go down one street to see what happened, but the people wouldn’t let us. They said, "Don’t go this way. A drunk has a gun." haha. We found out that the bar 3 houses down from us, which is the bar that the guy that owns our house owns, had a drunk shoot in it for some odd reason and then speed off in a car. Wasn’t as sketchy as it sounds, but still not very safe. We went in after that haha. We do hear gun shots just about every night though just to let you know.
We went up Ical the other day to help the new guys get to know the area. I rode on the back bumper of the truck of course ;) About half way up, I dropped down and started running still holding on to the truck haha. The guy that stood in the back and took the money thought I was falling so he started tripping. Let's just say that by the end, I had quite a few corte people laughing their heads off. It was great! haha.
Just to let you know, I ordered a Colo flag from some guy. I really wanted one, so I just went for it. It’s just a small one. It is going to be 300 Quetzales, which is roughly 40 dollars. I figured it was worth it. If you think otherwise, sorry. The guy probably needs the money pretty bad though.
That was basically my week in a nutshell though. Nothing too great... Nothing too boring... I still want spray cheese stuff for Ritz. Other than that, I’m pretty good I think. I love you all very much and miss you all as well! Hang in there and have a good week! Smile :)
Love,
Elder Bitner
PS-I love you Connor. Get ready to have the best two years, but hardest two years of your life!

Email 4 April 2011

Hello peeps.
Things going well? Sure hope so! Well, not much happened this week, so I don’t know how long this email will be. I’ll try to keep it entertaining though.
Well, it all starts with the afternoon of last P-Day. After internet last week, we just walked around... We decided to pass by where we found the Dr. Pepper a few weeks ago. They didn’t have it.... However, they did have Mountain Dew! haha. That made a lot of people happy. I enjoyed it dearly. I still have a can back in Colo waiting for me :) haha. They are supposed to get more tomorrow, but we'll see how true that is.
Later that night same day... We took our bus back to Colo. I sat by two drunks this time. I don’t know what it is, but they really love me for some reason... They sat there and just continually asked if I would pay for them... They kept calling me "amigo". I’m really learning to have patience with drunks, and I really hope that isn’t to prepare me for something in the future.
It did rain a tiny bit one day this week. They were just very spread out, thick drops. It just came at a bad time. It came while we were riding a truck to Ixtahuacán haha. We got hit pretty hard in the face a few times. It was just us two and the kid that takes money, so it wasn’t like we were barely standing on the bumper at least haha. The kid though was laughing at us the whole time because he thought we were mad or something, but we loved it very much haha.
Since it is the month of April - they have some weird traditions around this time here... On Friday, as we were coming home from Ixta, in front of almost every house was a chair. In that chair was a picture of Jesus with a candle in front of it. There were herds of people walking around with very large megaphones screaming complete nonsense. They had statues of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph that they carried around. During the week of Good Friday they do a lot of weird things supposedly. Guys dress up as the "Jews" and then chase another man, "Jesus", until they catch him and then put him on the cross.... I honestly just don’t understand the people at all haha. It seems quite apostate to me. They also had a guy dressed up as a devil running around Colo.
For General Conference, we were able to come down to Huehue. We stayed here for the weekend actually. I haven’t seen Colo in over 3 days. I enjoyed every session of conference. Everything to do with conference better yet. Mainly the biggest thing I took from it was that I have to get married?haha. I have never heard the Prophet machete the young single men so bad for something. Priesthood session was awesome. It had us all laughing because we luckily don’t have to worry about that right now :) I truly am thankful the chance I had to watch conference though. It was great and I loved it... I’m glad the mission has taught me to enjoy it.
So last night we stayed with the Zonies... Had dinner with them at a members and everything. We ate ants. Ants roasted in lime and salt. It was quite strange in all honesty, but I didn’t get sick or feel sick eating it. The ants are huge though. You would have to see and try one to understand. They can only be bought in Colo in the month of May too, so this lady has had them for quite some time which is weird haha.
We also found out something about our area last night from the assistants. They are splitting it... Two more missionaries are coming here. They are going to cover Ical and San Pedro Necta, while Shaw and I have Colo, Ixta, and San Gaspar (where they recently hung a 15 year old and beat him like a piñata for trying to kiss an 11 year old). Shaw and I are not happy to say the least.... Ical had all our work. We have nothing now. However, our other best friend here, Bergesen from Houston, is coming to work there, so it shouldn’t be too bad haha.
Well, that was my week. Things are well... I’m enjoying myself quite a bit. I love the mission. I’m grateful for the choice I made to come. I will never regret this. I love you all and miss you. Have a great week :)
Love,
Elder D.R. Bitner

Ant Eating

Email 28 March 2011

Beloved people back home :)
Things are going well here as usual! You guys??? If not good, you better change that... Anyways... This might be a little shorter than normal. Not much time today.
So this week, Shaw and I had some pretty good success. We have been finding a lot of people, which is cool. The only question is if they will progress into one of the "Prioridad 1", as we call them here. We are sure hoping to have baptisms soon!
First off, the McDonald’s trip last week was pretty good :) I just got chicken nuggets and fries and a Sprite and to top it all off, an Oreo McFlury in remembrance of you mom ;) haha. It was good overall. McDonalds definitely isn’t the best Birthday dinner, but I’ll put up with it for now I guess haha.
Back to the families that we have found... One is awesome. They are in Ixtahuacán. Both of the parents are orphans, so the only family they have is each other and their two kids. Pretty unique situation, but very cool people! They invited Shaw and me to spend the night at their other house in Xela if we ever need too haha. They actually know a lot about the church too because the dad has seen quite a few different specials on the BYU channel. And, they fed us dinner. We love them to say the least...
Side note - I saw chickens have sex for the first time.
I had a good couple drunk stories haha. On Saturday, as Market Day was finishing, Shaw and I left to work in Ical. On our walk there, a drunken guy started walking with me and talking to me in "English" (they never actually know English). I taught him just about every lesson possible in a matter of 5 minutes... As he was saying bye, he slipped on a bottle and fell straight on his back hahaha. Shaw and I walked away in complete laughter, while he laid there still saying bye and everything. It was great. Just up the road, we grabbed a truck to go up Ical (didn’t walk it because we didn’t have a lot of time... We were late). We stood on the back bumper as usual ;) (it is safe....ish haha). There were 3 drunks in the bed of the truck. As we went up the mountain they were all trying to talk to me. They don’t talk to Shaw which is really weird and not fair. Every time we hit a bump in the road, they would fall in the back of the truck. They slipped throughout the entire ride up. It was hilarious... haha. As soon as we got to the church in Ical, they were starting Mutual. They asked us a lot of questions about things they didn’t understand in the Bible of what they were studying... One of them was about the word "orgías", or orgies in English. Yeah, didn’t know what to do right there haha. It was hilarious.
Something interesting that happened that neither Shaw, nor I was aware of: 2 earthquakes. Some people told us about them and we were just like--what??? We didn’t feel those haha. They happened Saturday night at like Midnight I guess. They were like 5.3s or something. I was pretty upset I didn’t feel them haha. That would have been awesome.
That was my week... Shaw and I started a Tiky Can collection. We have them stacked to our ceiling. I continue to see Fireflies everywhere. I’m still in love with them...
I hope everything is going well for everyone! I miss you all and love you all soooo very much :) Have a great week everyone...
Con cariño,
Elder D.R. Bitner

Information found from Mom -

Most important Earthquake Data:
Magnitude : 5.9
UTC Time : Sunday, March 27, 2011 at 06:21:01 UTC
Local time at epicenter : Sunday, March 27, 2011 at 12:21:01 AM at epicenter
Depth (Hypocenter) : 86.8 km
Send an “earthquake experience report” for this earthquake
Geo-location(s) :
49 km (30 miles) S of Tapachula, Chiapas, Mexico
98 km (60 miles) WSW of Quetzaltenango, Guatemala
133 km (82 miles) SW of Huehuetenango, Guatemala

Email 21 March 2011



20th Birthday

  ¡Mi familia y mis amigos!
Pues, I’m no longer a "teen" as most might know... haha. I have survived two decades of life and plan on about 10 more ;) Being on the mission for the birthday is definitely weird. To be honest, it didn’t even feel like a different day. It was a good day though :) I woke up and had a nice bowl of ghetto-brand Lucky Charms. That was yummy enough for a breakfast haha. Went to Sacrament in Colo, but then left right after to get to Ical church for Priesthood so we could "plan" for some people they have for us to teach. The planning consisted of a guy saying, "Well, let’s meet Saturday at 3 to go visit them." It was kind of a waste, but I do love Ical church. They are way more mountainous like than Colo. After church, we went to lunch in the usual place in Colo. They gave us fried chicken and french fries, so that was cool. After lunch, went home and wrote a letter home as always... Then we cleaned the house and shined our shoes and then went up to an inactive family's house. We ate lunch at their house on Thursday and my birthday came up... So they invited us over for dinner for it :) It was really nice, especially since they aren’t even "active". We helped them make the food. We had Chuchitos. Don’t really know how to explain them... Maybe Derek can. We also helped make tamales though. It was all fun :) We were there for a good amount of time... I spent some of it trying to touch a very vicious pitbull, but he wouldn’t let me touch him. It was rude haha. I was so close to him and he wanted to bite me so bad... But his chain held him just out of reach haha. I was pretty scared of it. We tried to make these Dessert Bar things from Reeses, but they didn’t turn out too well I don’t think. We just left them and told them to eat it. We had a younger girl from Huehue help us with those. She asked for a picture with me for Facebook haha. Ate 4 Chuchitos with lots of chile :) I was full... I used the plates and napkins that were sent too, so that was pretty cool. haha. Everyone liked them a lot. The girl asked me to get her 4 packages of each for her birthday, which is the 30th. So it wouldn’t have been possible anyways.... Went back to the house where I enjoyed a nice Sparkling Strawberry drink (without alcohol) that I bought. It was good... haha. But yeah, that was my birthday for the most part I think! It was a good one :) Being in the mission didn’t really make a difference. I’m 20! I’m not ready to be a grown up haha.
As for the rest of the week... Last Monday I found a place that sold Dr Pepper! That was awesome... Only could buy one though because they didn’t have a lot. 10 Quetz each. Expensive, but wow so good....
Had an awesome experience for me. Helped me realize what to do here... Made me think a lot about Cole. It is complicated... haha. I explained a little in the letter so you might understand a little bit, but wow it hit me hard.
Went through changes... I didn’t get changed, so yipee! haha. And neither did Shaw. We are very happy.
Alright, well the coolest day was Friday... So much cool stuff happened. No one but the people involved will understand because you would have to know and love Colo, but I’ll try to explain haha. Two other Elders came up to help us with some stuff. Elder Lewis (my Zonie and Shaw's trainer) and then Elder Pigott, who just really badly wanted to see what Colo is. They came up early in the morning and we went to Ixtahuacán to do some "seminary/institute" visits with some guy from Huehue... They were having a Carnival in Ixta, so that was awesome. They had a Ferris Wheel... Little kid basketball tournament... So that was just all a neat way to start out the day. Rode back to Colo standing on the back bumper of a truck again (my favorite!) haha. Before we got to Colo though, we decided to stop at the "slaughter house". We asked the people if we could watch the "death" of a cow. They said sure of course. I’ll just give a little description about that. They tied it with rope. Pulled its head around to face its back and then cut a baseball-sized hole in his throat. Stepped/jumped on it to get all the blood to drain out.... Then they skinned it.... Then took an axe to it pelvic area. Chopped that bone right in half with two good swings. Then they broke each leg, from the knee down, off.... Those two bone parts, were pretty crazy. Just hearing the bones break and snap off. Ewwww it was so cool haha. Then they cut out the esophagus, which looked like a white vacuum tube. Then the stomach and intestines came out (I got a picture of that :) ). Throughout all this cutting and breaking, there was this cute little girl in there. Little pig tails... A cute little pink shirt... White little shorts and flip-flops. She was maybe 5 years old, probably younger. She had a broom, and was sweeping the blood. I was just like, "You have got to be kidding me". It was crazy... We ran through Ical and the Barranka later, just to get a good sunset picture. Those are not small mountains... It was worth it though. Had a "photoshoot" of sorts with these cute little girls in Corte haha. It was just a great day overall haha. I loved it.
Anyways, that was my week. I’m being eaten alive by fleas again. I found out I have gained 10 pounds! Doesn’t look like it... I have grown an inch though I think. Yay :) haha. I bought 2 clip-on ties. I’m going to McDonalds before we go back to Colo for my lovely B-day dinner out haha. Should be fun. Thanks for all the birthday wishes, prayers, etc... Everything is greatly appreciated :) Have a great week! I miss and love you all!!!
Con cariño, Elder David Bitner :)

Email 13 March 2011

Ical Mountain; Banana Trees - Jungle in Colo

Hey all :)
Well, this week has been pretty good for me. Hope all of you have enjoyed yours as well! I’m mainly just happy none of you were in Japan. A lot of people told us about the earthquake. They were terrified about it. Now, about the week.
Started with another funny P-Day afternoon story... We were shopping for some stuff so we could have food for dinner and for breakfast because we were staying with the Zonies, when all of the sudden Shaw had a "diarrhea attack". We had to run across the street to a hotel where he paid to use their bathroom. At some point the through process he told me that he needed more toilet paper, so I had to search for some. I ran into a guy that, in English, asked me, "What are you looking for?" I was like what the heck. He ended up giving me more t.p. for Shaw, and then we talked some. He had perfect English for the most part. I was amazed... He has lived in the states 22 years and has a business in Denver. Very random... He was really fun to talk to though. The funniest was Shaw’s bathroom. It had a huge window on the side of it so he could look at the mountain view, and others could look at him! It was cool.
So, Tuesday was a pretty sketchy holiday here in Guatemala. Shaw and I had to travel back to Colo at 6 in the morning to get there before "things" started happening. We had to sit in the house all day...... No leaving for anything. The holiday doesn’t really have a name I don’t think, but it had weird traditions. People would go around with confetti-filled eggs and smash them on each other’s heads. Cool holiday? Some would even carry flour around and throw that at other people. Some even had real eggs. It was just weird. In Colo, basically nothing happened. Just a parade of kids in Costumes walked by our house following a minivan listening to "Eye of the Tiger" haha. In Huehue, I guess things got pretty sketchy but who knows really. Sitting in the house was just really boring... We wanted to kill ourselves.
Well, I got some "gifts" this week haha. An investigator gave Shaw and me each 2 bananas and 5 Quetz... We tried to say no, but they wouldn’t let us say no. Weird. Shaw gave me a V-neck shirt. I’m starting to like them haha. I ate real sugar cane for the first time. Cut it and all. Pretty cool and yummy. It was a generous week from the Guats.
I spent some time with the "Dream Team" this week. They are from the area Ixtahuacán. They just find people to teach and then call us up. They are cool. The people they found didn’t show up to church though... Maybe next week. Another of our areas, Ical, gave us 3 references last night too. They all were at church yesterday. The members actually do stuff and it is suuhhhhweeeeet.
I have developed a new passion here in the mission. Standing on the back bumpers of trucks driving through the mountains on very windy roads with fireflies all around.... It is awesome haha. I love it. The only downfall is when little boys throw very large sticks at you as you drive by. One landed in the truck next to us... Almost got us haha. It was scary.
Some random facts.... Finished the journal that Derek gave me. I’m now using the one I bought in the CCM. I shined all my shoes myself for the first time. I threw a lot of hot dogs over the edge of our house to the dogs last night... People didn’t really like that, but I was just trying to be nice haha.
Well, that was my week. No scheduled baptisms this week, but maybe something cool will happen. Changes are this week too though. I doubt I’m getting changed, but you never know... I really hope neither of us does. We are actually getting stuff done, and I’m enjoying myself more than ever on the mission. Anyways, have a good week and be happy:)
Love,

Elder Bitner

Shaw's Bathroom Experience

Stick that was thrown at me and Shirt Shaw gave me